Maybe it is time to stop and reflect
There is a time/stage in our lives when we run away from ourselves in many ways.
We develop relationships that are not fruitful but painful. We carry on this burden for some reason trying to make it work and trying to cover up the drawbacks of such relationships because we simply believe that this relationship will work if I am "perfect"/"good"/"do everything possible" and impossible too.
By acting in this way we are trying to make unworkable things work and instead of admitting we have failed in doing so we keep on doing it and numbing our inner pain in many ways too. In short, there is a time running away from ourselves to relationships.
There is a time we run away from ourselves to religion. Believing that all answers are there we fanatically begin worshiping, etc....only to discover that our issues remain unsolved as there is still a void inside. We still feel not good enough, not worthy, etc. We run away from facing our deeper inner feelings and understanding/dealing with them. We keep running away from ourselves to routine tasks, rituals, etc.
There is a time we run away from ourselves to alcohol, etc. only to numb our feelings and unhappiness. Our problems are still there, our inner "disorder" is still there and instead of tackling that "disorder" inside our souls to make us feel better, we still run away from ourselves to forget ourselves in this delirium...and later to discover that we are still unhappy. This running away from oneself can go on forever..
There is a time when we stop running away from ourselves and we probably stop this type of "running" because we are unable to "run" like that any more because you have reached such a state that you can either die or get wise after all this "running".
When you have stopped running, you see the ruins of your life if your running has been quite desperate...you see things as facts in your life that you have already destroyed and damaged.
Or you see things being destroyed/damaged that you could probably change as you stopped running from yourself.
You suddenly see not only your life/the ruins of your life, whatever your situation is but you also start seeing your positive sides and drawbacks, what you have done about them and what you have not done about them. It is at this point when we grow spiritually because we understand that before this we have not been living..we have been running. Running away from ourselves. Fast and non-stop.
And it is this moment when we realize this truth which is the turning point in our lives-the time to turn to yourself and learn to understand yourself better, the time to heal and the time to live differently.
Remember, time is running, even though you have been running too. Time is running ahead and you are running away from yourself and your feelings, which slows you down from achieving the most and most importantly from being truly happy.
P.S.: Everything I have said in this post is only my personal experience and if you see any sense in it, use it for your own reflection. And remember, time is running.